I’d like to keep this short today as my beautiful daughters will be taking me out to lunch soon. This is a day we celebrate our mothers. (Duh) I want to also celebrate all of the fierce awesome women who’ve come before me, and will come after me that have inspired me in my life. Thank you! Thank you for fighting for women’s rights, for leading in the workplace, for taking chances, for running for office, for inventing, for writing, for having children and working, for breaking into traditional men’s work, for overcoming so many obstacles in life. Just…thank you.
This blog was inspired by a post I saw on the social network beBee. The writer was remarking how some people who don’t smile and frown actually have facial expressions stuck that way. It reminded me of a coworker of long ago. She was cranky, grouchy, negative and rarely smiled. Her face was stuck in a permanent frown, even with her resting face. The lines around her mouth were turned down like a perpetual sullen child, forever cracked into her aging skin. I often wondered as I looked at her or listened to her, was it worth it? Worth it to be so negative, glum, sister to Eeyore? Your face is stuck that way!
The funny thing is, she reported to me. I say funny because I don’t have a lot of tolerance for negativity at work. (What’s the point? If you aren’t happy on the job, leave. Don’t infect the rest of us.) The other funny part is while I don’t tolerate constant negativity out in the open, I will listen to negative concerns privately.(As a supervisor, I will listen. As an equal, I don’t like to be involved with gossip and negativity on the job) I also appreciate that negative people can take the Devil’s advocate side, and I like to hear all sides of a solution or procedure before we implement it.
So, ironically, while I’m going on about a negative side of her, let me talk about the positive side. She was incredibly smart, with a dry sense of humor. We actually had a lot of interests in common, certain movies, certain type of humor, a love of books, a love of history, a love of art and a love of travel. Seeing her positives helped me deal with the negativity. As her supervisor, while I often addressed her grouchiness and/or negativity, I also understood that the negativity is who she was. Like the color of her brown eyes, or her freckles, she couldn’t or didn’t want to change that part of her. I couldn’t force her to change, but I could address it when she crossed the line with customers or coworkers. (She had worked at the company for a long time, and no one had documented her behavior. I also inherited her. Everyone would say, oh well, that’s how “Shirley” is. Not me. Either she was going to get it or not.)
I documented every coaching conversation with her. It took awhile, but eventually the conversations and write ups became a thick file. Still, I was always patient and respectful to her. Eventually she figured out that I wasn’t giving in, and she decided to retire.
What’s the big deal about smiling?
- I know I feel better when I smile and really mean it.
- My customers brighten up.
- I hope I cheered up my customer if they need it.
- I know customers can tell when I smile while talking on the phone, so I do it all the time.
- I smile at strangers, a hard thing for me to do. (I don’t want to be seen as a crazy creeper!) But I love the human connection when they smile back.
- I get compliments all the time about my smile. Who doesn’t love a compliment?
- It’s healthy for your brain and emotions.
- It’s an act of kindness.
“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” Mother Teresa
PS-the picture is me and my youngest daughter, smiling because we are so happy to be at a baseball game!
There are so many great leadership examples out there, it’s hard to pick even a few! I narrowed it down to three newer voices in leadership, and three old school voices.
- Robin Sharma
- Dan Rockwell
- Sheryl Sandberg
- Peter Drucker
- John Maxwell
- Jim Collins
Robin Sharma is kind of the new guy on the block for me. Robin is a Canadian author and leadership speaker, formerly a litigation lawyer. One of the things that attracts me to his quotes is a zen type of feel to some of the quotes.
- “Words can inspire, and words can destroy. Choose yours well. ”
- “Your ‘I can’ is more important than your IQ.”
- “Dedicate yourself to expressing your best.”
Dan Rockwell, LeadershipFreak, is one of my all time favorites. He’s to the point, his blogs posts are short and informative, and he’s on top of current issues in the workplace. Dan has had over 35 years of experience as a public speaker, leader, and teacher. I’ve been following him for about 6 years now.
- “Authentic leadership is heart deep, not skin deep.”
- “Great leaders always lift others.”
- “The courage to keep growing is the difference between success and failure.”
Sheryl Sandberg is obviously one of the top voices at Facebook, and in my opinion, a great female leader to emulate. I’m not sure that she even likes the spotlight, but she recognizes that she is a leader who can help teach other female leaders.
- “Leadership is not bullying and leadership is not aggression. Leadership is the expectation that you can use your voice for good. That you can make the world a better place.”
- “Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”
These are a few of my favorite work and leadership quotes. Do you have any favorite quotes? I would love to hear them!
I felt the need to write today, but my brain is misfiring in so many directions, that I decided to do something simple…a book review. So, please indulge me while I talk about one of the books that I’m reading. I hope you’ll give it a try. It’s a little bit outside the realm of leadership, but hey, it’s my blog, so why not?
I sing of Artemis, whose shafts are of gold, who cheers on the hounds, the pure maiden, shooter of stags, who delights in archery, own sister to Apollo. The Homeric Hymn to Artemis, circa 6th century BC
This is from the book titled The Immortals, by Jordana Max Brodsky. Ancient Greek Gods are alive and well in 2016, with some residing in New York City. They’ve taken on common names, as well as jobs, (the horror!) so as not to stick out. Artemis’ name is Selena DiSilva. Her twin brother, Apollo, is now Paul. Her half brother Hermes, is known as Dash, and so on with other Gods. Much like the movie Highlander, or most immortal type books and movies, they must disappear and reinvent their lives after a few decades. Artemis/Selena, the Huntress, has done many versions of police work, detective work, protector of women and crime fighting. Most of the Gods and Goddess’s powers are weakening over the centuries, until they finally go mad and/or die. They are gradually aging and losing their powers, because not too many people these days are praying directly to the ancient Gods. There are a few cute things, such as Hermes starting the clothesline, Hermes, which enables the God to still retain some power.
I would describe the book as part historical, part mystery, part suspense, and even some humor. There are many flashbacks of Artemis’ Goddess life, and her past lives living on earth, making for fascinating reading and premises. Fast forward to NYC, and Selena is a hard, lonely woman, patrolling the nights looking for abusers of women. Two incidents jolt her into further action. She finds the mutilated corpse of a woman with signs of an ancient ritual long forgotten committed on the woman, and power has begun to course through Selena’s body again. Someone is praying to her and sacrificing women for a ritual. Her sense of justice and ire has reminded her of who she really is, Artemis, daughter of Zeus and Leto, the Punisher and the Huntress.
I liked the writing style, and the obvious research that went into writing this book. The dialogue is witty, biting, and real. It’s a series, so I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the books.